Helsinki: chronicle of a catastrophe foretold
“Trump is an unpredictable president” – yawn, you’ve probably heard it before. These days, it’s become an epithet of sorts, parroted by journalistst and pundits alike. It’s also bollocks. Trump – let’s call him Putin 2 from now on – is actually as mechanically predictable as a Duracell Bunny. You only have to ask yourself a few simple questions to uncover his predictability algorithm. If the answer to one or most of the following questions is ‘yes’, count on it that Putin 2 will do it. Here we go. Does it benefit Putin 1? Does it undermine the international order? Does it negate the notion of a common good? Does it deliberately poison the public sphere? Does it promote authoritarianism and demean democracy? Does it create a threat to the EU? Is it an incredibly boorish, vandalous, indecent, shameless or outrageous thing to do? Last but not least, does it benefit Putin 1?
Pulling out of the Paris Climate Deal and the Iran Nuclear Deal, the summit with Kim Jong-un, the separation of migrant children form their parents, the almost constant praise of Putin 1 – it all bears the hallmark of predictability. Putin 2’s wrecking ball behaviour at the NATO summit in Brussels? Predictable. His public affront to Theresa May by stating that Boris Johnson would ‘make a great prime minister’? Predictable. His advice to May to sue the EU over Brexit? Outrageous, but exactly what you’d expect from an obsessive litigator.
As Putin 2 cuddles up to his Puppetmaster behind closed doors in Helsinki, eager to get a pat on the back for all the havoc he’s wreaked, we’ll witness the latter’s historical vendetta against the West moving forward. Will the Puppetmaster finally manage to settle the score for the downfall of the Soviet empire? Let’s wait and see. Rest assured that Helsinki will be a coordinated assault on democracy – in broad daylight and on European soil. As for Trump, he’s not just going to Helsinki, he’s going to hell. The only question is when – and how many innocent souls he’ll drag down with him. Unfortunately, it’s all quite predictable.
Has Putin 2 ever said anything that Putin 1 would disagree with?