Il Dottore speaks: John "Johnny Boy" Bolton, the Doctor Strangehate of international relations.

Nomen est omen

Guess who’s described here. Let’s go. This is a guy who’s been hiding behind his moustache for, probably, most of his adult life. According to some accounts he is an abusive manager. Okay, one more clue: his moustache bears a striking resemblance to the grill of a Dodge Ram 1500 (one of the more robust pick-up trucks on the market). In case you haven’t guessed yet, imagine two headlights right above the grill... Yes, they’re his eyes: two maliciously gleaming beads that seem to want to stare you down – or to death – depending on what mood he’s in. By now you should know who he is. His name is John Bolton. Buckle up now, because this guy is turbo-charged... Ta-da! – curtains open, Boltons of lightning rip through salami-coloured skies.

    Come to think of it, Bolton also sounds like the pet name of a 50 megaton nuclear bomb. You know, one with a blast radius of 75 kilometers. Drop a Bolton (or “Johny Boy”) on any city and that particular city will be gone. 

    Seems like in recent days the US is preparing to drop a Bolton on the EU. According to Guardian columnist Rafeal Behr, this moustached deep-state-actor has been schmoozing with pro-Brexit Tory MPs behind closed doors. Apparently, the Tory avarice for chaos knows no boundaries and their ambitions reach well beyond Brexit. Bolton’s conniving also raises the question of how taking down the EU – a top priority of US foreign policy – befits the remit of a US national security adviser. But of course, how could one forget – it’s the cars, the German cars, stupid! See, Trump doesn’t like being stiffed by his EU allies, or rather, former allies. He doesn’t like being thrown under the bus, especially if that bus is a Mercedes.

    Poisoning the relationship with the EU is like ending a deep, long-standing partnership over a dispute over 5 euros. You need a certain mindset to do such a thing. But then again, it’s exactly what you do if you want to please the Puppetmaster, whom Trump and Bolton are aching to snuggle up to during the upcoming summit in Helsinki. The chosen location is in itself an insult. The Puppetmaster and Il Douche (the latter having a track-record of being Putins’s most valuable asset) will be coordinating and fine-tuning their strategies for undermining the EU – on EU territory! This is no coincidence, it’s what you call chutzpah. And it proves what I’ve said before: democracy dies in broad daylight (and no, not in darkness, as the Washington Post’s claims in its Batman-movie-like tagline).   

    The criminality of attempting to throw a whole continent into political turmoil is just mind-boggling. Make no mistake, it’s a declaration of war. Surely, Bolton will be thoroughly enjoying all of it from behind his moustache.

Il Dottore

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If anyone can find a way to start a war, Bolton can. Still thinks invasion of Iraq was a good thing.