From Slovenia with Love: Melania Trump - the inscrutable face of domestic bliss - grabs him by the wallet and falls back on her KGB training...

You've got to hand it to her. Things turned out unexpectedly bad for Melania Trump. On the face of it, she has been dealt a lousy hand in life. There she was: an apparently poor Slovenian girl who travelled to America full of hope and managed to catch the eye of a bigly smart and devastatingly handsome celebrity cartoon billionaire. And then she marries Ignoramus Rex. Yes. She's been dealt a lousy hand... and she's playing it badly. That inscrutable, imperious look, is really quite something. The back of her coat with the slogan.... "I really don't care, do you" ... while she visited children in cages...  It seems that she not only married Ignoramus Rex but somehow managed to get contaminated by his DNA.

She wasn't always like that of course - at least not before she was spotted by Putin (real name Ernst Blofeld) when they were both working in the KGB. Not many people know that Melania's real name is Colonel Rosa Klebb (aka Number 3) when, in the 1960s, she was a leading operative for SPECTRE (formerly SMERSH). Born in the Ukraine in 1899 (according to her Wiki page) she "died" for the first time in Venice in 1963 when Sean Connery killed her with a single shot after she attacked him with poisoned steel toe-caps in her shoes. Today, those steel caps are in her heels.

Following an extensive make-over, she has been groomed by Blofeld (Putin) for these last 50 years waiting for the moment she could be triggered from her sleeper cell and really go to work. What appears to the world to be simply a silly money-grabbing actually a key player in a decades long strategy to bring the West crashing down. For her, it was never about the money - it was always ideological. And that ideology is to use fashion to position herself as the "wife who is the real Manchurian Candidate". Trump is a sad decoy, an empty, harmless, highly intelligent and handsome vessel: and at the same time, an idiot who has no idea what is really going on.

Meanwhile Melania Knavs, aka Knauss, aka Trump, aka Rosa Klebb, aka "Number 3" is a much greater threat to the West than we could ever have imagined. Bond is on to her..... Wish him luck.



The real Melania before the operation in a tight-fitting uniform (still her favourite). You only live twice.....